Sunday, January 20, 2013

TVLine: Revenge Recap: A Little Hope? Nope

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thumbnail Revenge Recap: A Little Hope? Nope
Jan 21st 2013, 04:14

About half of Revenge‘s characters take a cross-country trip in this week’s episode, the mileage they rack up is just slightly smaller than a deductive leap Emily makes toward the end of the hour. Meanwhile, Conrad schmoozes some future constituents, Charlotte sheds her identity and Aiden’s hopes are dashed in a real bad way. Let’s take a look at what went down in “Collusion.”

RELATED | Revenge Boss Previews a ‘Powerful’ Tragedy, Emily/Aiden at Odds and Amanda’s ‘Darker’ Path

TWO MEN TOO MANY | Emily has a disturbing sex dream where she’s sleeping with an Aiden/Daniel hybrid (we should all be so disturbed) but wakes up alone. Needing “an honest moment,” she and the Brit have a cozy meet up on the beach – doesn’t the absolute lack of cover mean anyone could see them canoodling? – where she tells him Daniel wants to take her to an oyster bar for lunch. “Oysters. Subtle,” Aiden remarks. (Heh.) Little does Em know, Daniel’s plan is to whisk her away to California for the meal, because she loves that region’s Kunamoto oysters, and “the oysters can’t come to us.” Uh, has Daniel never been to a seafood restaurant in Manhattan? Anyway, he also kinda wants backup while he pitches Grayson Global to Stonehaven United, the up-for-grabs disaster recovery company that was the subject of last week’s ep. Emily agrees, even though it’s clear that Daniel sees the business trip doubling as a romantic rendezvous. Meanwhile, Helen shows Aiden video of his sister Colleen – still seemingly alive – and tells him to prove he isn’t working with Victoria by killing her within 24 hours in exchange for his sister’s survival. He quickly agrees.

NO DANIEL, YOU’RE STILL NOT GETTING ANY | Daniel’s meeting with Stonehaven’s Ms. Carlisle is going just OK until Emily steps in and prods her former fiancé to talk about his vision for Grayson Global. The vibe is very much like a mother having her kindergartener report on what he did at school that day; Daniel dutifully parrots some line about a global worldview – and for real? I wouldn’t sell this guy my sweaty gym sock, because it’s looking like he couldn’t put together an original thought with a hot glue gun. But Ms. Carlisle seems impressed, and Daniel and Em celebrate with champagne by the pool. Know who else is at the same hotel? Victoria, Grayson competition Jason Prosser and Aiden. (Group rate?) At least Aiden has the courtesy to alert Emily to his presence, and they have a very convoluted conversation about why she should or shouldn’t help Daniel acquire Stonehaven. Honestly, I feel like the show has had multiple characters have variations of this conversation multiple times… so why does it still take me a few minutes to keep it all straight in my head? Anyway, Emily has Daniel call Nolan to ask for dirt on Prosser (and texts him “Say yes and I’ll buy you a house,” ha!). Noles comes through with some info about how Prosser’s subsidiaries engaged in post-9/11 gas and oil price gouging; the information sways Carlisle to sell Stonehaven to Daniel.

Prosser’s ripped. He thinks Victoria (with whom he shared at least a kiss – and possibly more — earlier), Daniel and Emily colluded to work against him, but she denies it. And Emily’s worried when Nolan, at her request, hacks into Aiden’s phone and finds that The Initiative sent him video of his sister shooting heroin. The subject line? “A life for a life” In about .2 nanoseconds, Emily figures out that her man is in Los Angeles to kill Victoria – I know our girl is shiny, pretty and above all things clever, but come on – and manages to stop him just before he takes the kill shot from the hotel’s roof. She suggests that he tell Initiative Helen that he’s helped seal Daniel’s victory over Prosser, which is what she wanted in the first place, and that killing Victoria would only distract the new Grayson CEO. With that patched, Emily reassures Aiden, kisses him and leaves him with a wary look that says “Just don’t touch, do or think anything until I can come up with a new plan, OK?”

Nice try, Em. Aiden later shows up on her porch with the finale to his sister’s video, in which she dies via overdose. Emily tries to comfort him, but he grabs her violently and makes it clear that he blames her. “It’s you I shouldn’t have trusted,” he snarls. “If she is dead, then this is on you.” Yikes.

THE DECEIVED BECOMES THE DECEIVER | After an episode-long hunt for a house, Nolan realizes that Padma – and not “Groucho Snarx” aka Marco (ha!) – is gunning to take him down. His new CFO accidentally let on that she knew Carrion was a program, he sadly tells Emily, when only last episode she’d pretended to think it was a woman’s name. We now know several things Padma doesn’t. One, Carrion is designed to shut down gigantic power grids at the blink of an eye. Two, Carrion’s not finished; the final part of the code exists only in Nolan’s brain. (Wave your whale cam in the air if you think this can only mean that Nolan will end up handcuffed to a desk in some torturous Initiative computer lab. In fact, let’s start the countdown clock now.) Three, he’s set her up to find what I believe is a dummy copy of the program. And four, life is just so much better when Nolan and Emily are in the same room. Plot is forwarded, murkiness is cleared up and plans are formed. “My advice?” Em says, deadly calm. “Play her like she’s playing you.”

BY ANY OTHER NAME | It’s Charlotte’s 18th birthday, but her family can’t be bothered to celebrate it. “I guess being a Grayson means learning to live with disappointment,” Char sighs to Amanda. And even though Amanda’s surely thinking about how bouncing among foster homes and having your one friend in the world turn out to be an opportunistic manipulator is also rather disappointing, she merely says, “But you’re not really a Grayson.” Cut to later, when Charlotte’s family finally coughs up a cake and some candles. But she’s got a bigger surprise for them: She’s filed papers to officially change her name to Charlotte Clarke.

CIVIC DUTY | Conrad lets Victoria know that he and his “communications director” are considering his run for public office — and please, for the love of all that is holy, re-watch the scene where Victoria realizes that he’s referring to Ashley. The word “concubine” is bandied about (awesome), Madeleine Stowe’s face does some truly wonderful things (how high can those eyebrows go?) and when Conrad details his alliance with his former fling, Victoria shoots back, “I can only imagine what kind of horrifying footage that will yield.” Ha! Act one of Conrad’s public life: He’s going to clean up the docks by buying back the Ryan brothers’ interest in The Stowaway and handing them the murder confession Jack guilt-tripped out of Matt Duncan earlier in the episode. Kenny’s game, but Nate’s got other ideas. After the charges against Jack are dropped (what, did Conrad give a copy of the confession to the local cops, as well?), Nate meets with Papa Grayson and says he wants to “muscle” the dock area into something that could benefit them both. Conrad is intrigued.

Now it’s your turn. Were you questioning when, exactly, that video of Colleen was recorded? Are you a little tickled about the fact that Conrad “Scotch, neat” Grayson is now a part owner of The “PBRs all around!” Stowaway? And does little Carl’s cuteness almost – almost – make up for his parents’ storyline? Sound off in the comments!

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Hollywood Life: ‘Kourtney & Kim Take Miami’ Recap: The Kardashians Diss Kris Humphries

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thumbnail 'Kourtney & Kim Take Miami' Recap: The Kardashians Diss Kris Humphries
Jan 21st 2013, 04:06

On the Jan. 20 series premiere of ‘Kourtney & Kim Take Miami,’ Khloe won’t stop bugging Kim about her divorce. Plus, Kim and Kanye West share ‘I love yous,’ Mercy makes her first appearance and Scott surprises Kourtney.

Miami proved to bring out the best in some and the worst in others on the series premiere of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami on Jan. 20. And just when you think you’ve heard the last of “the Hump” and his barking, Kris Humphries has a way of popping himself back into the mix.

Khloe Harasses Kim About Her Divorce From Kris Humphries

Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian arrive in Miami with Mason and Penelope in tow, ready to take control of their Miami store that’s clearly gone to the wayside. Unhappy with the direction the store is going, the girls plan on finding a new location and making over the entire DASH store, giving them a reason to film their spinoff. (How coincidental, no?)

It’s while they’re in the store that Kim gets a call from her divorce attorney. We’re not given the details of the call, but Kim seems unfazed, which alarms Khloe. In fact, Kim makes a bit of a joke about her divorce saying it’s “far from [being over.]“

After Khloe gossips about Kim’s past love life with a few DASH employees, she assigns family friend Jonathan Cheban to do some dirty work, asking him to question Kim about her divorce and why she’s been so quiet about it.

Kim gets pissed that Khloe is gossiping about her personal life and making such a big deal about it. Kim admits that she’s letting it go — she’s put Kris Humphries behind her and letting God take care of it. (Those are Kim’s words, just not verbatim.)

And just in case, Kim, Kourtney and Khloe smash dishes on their hotel balcony to release any negative energy Kris Humphries may have bestowed upon them.

Side note: Khloe advises Kim never to date anyone who barks like a dog.

Kim & Kanye West Say ‘I Love You’

While Kanye West is away recording his album in Hawaii, Kim is in Miami with his sisters. Being the loving boyfriend that he is, Kanye promises to send Kim something sweet to keep her company. Khloe assumes it will be a dildo, but it ends up being a tiny white Persian kitten! (Unfortunately, we all know how this story plays out.)

Kim calls Kanye to thank him for the kitten. (We can’t hear his voice, but subtitles are placed instead. Is there a chance he refuses to be audio recorded for the series?) He asks her to name it Mercy, after his hit song, and she loves it.

Before Kim and Kanye hang up, they both say “I love you” to each other. So sweet.

Kourtney Has No Faith In Scott

If anyone remembers the summer of 2010, when Scott punched a mirror, shoved a $100 bill in a waiter’s mouth and seeked professional help, then you know Miami is a danger zone for Scott Disick. However, three years is a long time, and Scott has proven himself since then.

Unfortunately, Kourtney isn’t so quick to forget the past and initially bans Scott from coming to Miami. She’s afraid that the nightlife may sway him back into his bad habits.

Seeing how overwhelmed Kourtney is with two kids, Kim secretly urges Scott to come to Miami. He shows up, but Kourtney is hesitant to be happy about his arrival.

Scott spends all of his time playing with Mason (which is super cute), but it’s a night with Khloe and Kim that puts him to the test. They get drunk and ridiculous and ask Scott for a ride to the pizza joint. Being the good brother-in-law that he is (Yes, I know he’s not married to Kourtney, but paper shmaper. I’m calling him her husband.), Scott drives them around town. The girls take advantage of Scott and make him go to various stores with them until he gets annoyed and calls Jonathan to take over.

Scott returns home to an unhappy Kourtney. She assumes he was out partying and is using his “chauffeur” story as an alibi.

I guess all is forgiven, because the next day Scott and Kourtney are talking normally and she surprises him by shipping his corvette to Miami.

What do YOU think, HollywoodLifers? Should Kim’s family stop bugging her about her divorce? Don’t you wish Kris would just sign the papers? How long do you think this divorce is really going to go on for? Sound off below!

Plus, in light of the Kardashians breaking dishes to vent their frustrations over Kris Humphries, I thought it’d be appropriate to listen to Rihanna’s “Breakin’ Dishes.” You’re welcome.

— Chris Rogers


More ‘Kourtney & Kim Take Miami’ news:

  1. 'KKTM' Preview: Khloe Kardashian Discusses Lying About Abortions
  2. 'Kourtney & Kim Take Miami' Season Preview: Kourtney Threatens To Fire DASH Staff
  3. 'Kourtney & Kim Take Miami': A Violent Kardashian Fight — Watch
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Hollywood Life: ‘Revenge’ Recap: Victoria’s Life Is Threatened — Again

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thumbnail 'Revenge' Recap: Victoria's Life Is Threatened — Again
Jan 21st 2013, 03:37

Plus, Emily reveals (yet another) shocking secret to Daniel about his mother!

The Jan. 20 episode of Revenge got pretty heated when Emily (Emily VanCamp) and Daniel (Joshua Bowman) flew off to Los Angeles, as Helen Crowley ordered Aiden to kill Victoria (Madeleine Stowe). You know, just the usual Revenge drama.

Daniel had a meeting with Stonehaven, a disaster-relief company Grayson Global wished to procure, and he needed his lucky charm — aka his ex-fiancé Emily — by his side. Daniel also had a little pleasure in mind for the trip, but his getaway was quickly ruined by Victoria. She showed up to make sure Jason secured Stonehaven in order to protect her son, all the while unaware that Aiden had also arrived — to kill her! Helen suggested Aiden’s sister was still alive, and in order to get her back, he must kill the Queen of the Hamptons.

Initially, Mr. Procer dropped out of the running because Aiden revealed that whoever gained Stonehaven would also acquire a nice lawsuit as a party favor. To guarantee that Jason stayed in the running for the business, Victoria offered herself as his true prize. In the end, with the help of some dirt-digging from Nolan (Gabriel Mann), Daniel secured the company, and his head grew three sizes that day. Oh, and no worries, Emily stopped Aiden from killing Victoria. Whew, that was a close call!

The case against Jack (Nick Wechsler) started to get more complicated, so obviously, it was Conrad (Henry Czerny) and his checkbook to the rescue! The police found a gun aboard Jack’s boat and they accused him of murdering Joe Ryan — the Ryan brothers’ father — but Conrad had a confession from his actual killer, Mr. Duncan. Conrad offered the brothers a $50,000 check for just a simple signature and a departure from the Hamptons in return.

On a lighter note, everyone almost forgot Charlotte’s (Christa B. Allen) birthday, or canceled plans to celebrate; and as a birthday gift to herself, Charlotte changed her last name from “Grayson” to “Clarke.” Shockingly, Emily admitted her alliance with Victoria to Daniel — and even MORE shockingly, Daniel knew what was going on! He just pushed to see how far Emily would go to help him. (Now you’re learning, Daniel. Now you’re learning.)

In other news, due to an amateur slip up, Nolan figured out that Padma was playing him like a fiddle, and he played her right back! He planted a fake flash drive to the program, Carrion, that she’d been searching for while spying for The Initiative, and he caught her uploading the file — hook, line and sinker. It seemed like everyone in the Hamptons was having a hard time trusting each other, and Aiden was no exception. He received footage from The Initiative of his sister’s death from a drug overdose, and threatened to blame everything on Emily if it turned out she actually died. Fingers crossed that she’s still alive! You can’t be mad at Emily Thorne. You just can’t.

Revenge returns Feb. 10, when we’ll see scenes from the first episode of season two. Plus, Jack and Amanda will have their wedding, and — wait for it — someone will die protecting Emily Thorne! Any guesses?

— Jaymie Bailey

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TVLine: Once Upon a Time Recap: The Monster Mash

TV News, Previews, Spoilers, Casting Scoop, Interviews
thumbnail Once Upon a Time Recap: The Monster Mash
Jan 21st 2013, 03:30

This week on ABC’s Once Upon a Time, Rumplestiltskin tried to steer Belle back down memory lane, Whale played doctors, Regina had a mother of a surprise and the Charmings worried what trouble an outsider might cause.

IN THE LAND THAT WAS…. | As Whale struggles with his responsibilities in Storybrooke, we flashed back to life at the Frankenstein castle, where father Alphonse makes a fuss over son Gerhardt’s silver cross medal, and gifts him with a timepiece. Victor meanwhile receives a miliary commission that would pull him away from his work, which to date has been subsidized by his dad. Overhearing Victor’s dilemma, Rumple pops up in the lab and introduces himself, expressing an interest in “how you do what you do.” Rumple says that while witchcraft in Victor’s realm is “evil and neglected,” while where he’s from it is strong — yet stops short of restoring life. Rumple dumps a mound of gold on the floor in trade for the doc’s secrets.

Later, Gerhardt catches Victor in the midst of grave-robbing. Spotted by a watchman, Gerhardt winds up shot dead — thus furnishing Victor with a test subject. His first go is a failure, since his bro’s ticker couldn’t take the heat. Rumple has a solution: “I’ll bring you a master of the hat, and he’ll take you to a young woman (Regina) who has what you need — a heart for your brother.” We then get a brief reprise of Whale’s previous flashback (where the pumper provided by Regina helps bring Gerhardt back to life), though the lad is not quite himself.  “He’s a monster!” Alphonse roars as Gerhardt freaks over a flame. When Dad berates Victor as a “ghoul” and “disgrace,” Gerhardt intervenes and kills their pop. Gerhardt offers his life to Victor, but his brother refuses to kill him (again). “I’ll still save you,” Victor says. “I’ll find a way.”

IN STORYBROOKE…. | At the accident scene, Belle is frightened by Mr. Gold, whom she last saw wielding magic, while no amount of broken ribs can keep Hook from flirting with the sheriff: “Hello, beautiful!” Looming larger is the matter of the outsider whose car mowed down the pompous pirate. “The outside world just came to Storybrooke,” Emma warns.

At the hospital, Gold gives “true love’s kiss” a try, and while Belle briefly smiles, she winds up terrified. Hook meanwhile is met with questions about Cora’s whereabouts, but he’s more interested in reclaiming his hook — “or,” he asks Emma, “is there another attachment you prefer?” The captain is quite pleased with hurting his foe Rumplestiltskin’s heart, but as Emma points out, “He’s on his feet, he’s immortal, he has magic and you hurt his girl. If I were to pick Dead Guy of the Year, I’d pick you.”

Emma and the Charmings poke around the outsider Greg’s phone and see he’s a regular joe who takes selfies, has a LinkedIn account (poor guy!) and tweets pics of his food. Still, Leroy and others worry that — as seen in Splash and E.T.! — people tend to take apart things they don’t understand. When Whale reports that Greg won’t be up and about anytime soon, Gold declines to repair the stranger (“I owe you nothing, none of you!”) and instead suggests they let him die or risk having tour buses coming down Main Street. The race against time begins when Greg’s cell rings — with the Star Wars theme (thanks, Disney-owned Lucasfilm!) — with a call from “Her”….

Gold runs into Cora, who offers him a globe-type gizmo to help him find his son (aka “the one person in the universe who might love you”) in trade for helping her rconnect with Regina. They seal the deal “like we used to,” with a semi-lingering kiss. (Huh!) Meanwhile at the hospital, Whale is MIA. David notes that the doctor has been “in a rough place” ever since Regina had him bring Daniel back to life (“Daniel?!” Mary Margaret remarks) and his arm got ripped off. “He’s like Frankenstein?” Emma asks. “That’s Whale,” David makes clear. Mary Margaret wonders aloud, “What went on here while we were gone?!” Ha!

Henry tracks Regina down in the crypt — only it’s not the rugrat but Cora in disguise. “I know why you sent me through the looking glass, why you tried to have me killed,” Mom says. “And it’s all right. I love you, I just always showed you in the wrong ways.” Anxious to clear her name, Regina takes Cora to “go wake up Emma and Henry and the two idiots” and reveal what she’s been up to. “And then we can start over?” Cora hopes. Regina is bearish, but on the drive home — LOL at Cora marveling at the “carriage” — she is reminded of when Henry made things just for her as his only mother. “Together, we can get him back,” Cora assures….

Following Whale’s boozy scene, Ruby stops the doc from pitching himself into the drink, and they then compare notes about being monsters. Whale alluded to the common mistake people truly make, referring to the monster (and not the scientist) as “Frankenstein.” Ruby counters, “I ate my boyfriend,” then suggests that while Regina thought she was punishing everyone with the dark curse, they actually all have a chance to forget all their past “crap” and start over.

Returning to Belle’s bedside, Gold tries to jump-start her memories with her own talisman, Chip (aka the chipped teacup, which he has charmed), but it’s just weird mumbo-jumbo to her, so she hurls the china against the wall, shattering it — and Rumple’s spirit. Later, Gold uses the globe and a drop of his blood to locate Bae, then he shows up at the Charmings — where Emma was taunting her mom about “knowing” Whale (“We were cursed!”) and Henry was acting as Continuity Police by noting that other non-fairytale characters could be living in town. Gold calls in the favor Emma owes him, saying, “We’re leaving today to find my son; pack a bag.” For good measure, he warns the others: “If any harm comes to Belle, I’m killing all of you.”

Whale operates on Greg and it’s a success; Emma quizzes the outsider on what he saw, and he says he was too busy texting (Quinn Fabray taught us nothing) when he ran down the guy in the street. Emma lets him off with a “warning,” but later Greg phones “Her” to report, “I was in an accident, and you’re not going to believe what I saw….”

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Hollywood Life: ‘Downton Abbey’ Recap: Tom & Sybil — International Fugitives?

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thumbnail 'Downton Abbey' Recap: Tom & Sybil — International Fugitives?
Jan 21st 2013, 03:00

The rebellious couple returned to ‘Downton Abbey’ on Jan. 20 with the fuzz hot on their trail!

Tom (Allen Leech) may be a beautifully wrapped package, but sometimes I wonder if the box isn’t completely empty. He arrived at Downton this week, all wet — I know what I said, let’s move on — and all alone. The police believed him to be an instigator of a rebellion, so he fled Ireland and left Sybil (Jessica Brown Findlay) behind. Yes, pregnant Sybil. God, how could someone who looks so good in a nightshirt be so stupid?!

Sybil eventually made it to the abbey — her and Tom’s 360-degree kiss in the main hall was a nice touch — but her troubles are far from over. It looks like she and Tom will have to stay there at least until the baby is born, which by my calculations should be sometime next week! Get excited.

Now let’s talk about what the other Downton couples were up to this week…


Now that Matthew (Dan Stevens) and Mary (Michelle Dockery) are married and Downton’s little money problem has been solved, it’s time for them to focus on their next plot point — I mean the next phase of their relationship: babies! But when Matthew brought the subject up this week, his wife shot him down pretty quickly. She also dodged his questions about why she was making so many doctor’s visits lately. Could we have a 20th-century Khloé Kardashian on our hands? I think we’re all rooting for these two to start spawning; those babies would be totally sexy and very proper.


Breaking news: Edith’s (Laura Carmichael) life didn’t totally suck this week. She was understandably mopey after her elderly, one-armed boyfriend left her at the altar, but a few constructive words from the Dowager Countess (Maggie Smith) kicked her back into gear.

“Edith, you’re a woman with a brain and reasonable ability,” she said, both of which would make fantastic additions to Edith’s OKCupid profile.. “Stop whining and find something to do!”

Of course, good ol’ Violet was less excited to hear that what Edith really wanted to do was to write about women’s rights for the newspaper. (“No lady writes to a newspaper,” she told her granddaughter.”) Once again, her mind was blown by the “modern” world.


Isobel (Penelope Wilton) told Mrs. Hughes (Phyllis Logan) about Ethel (Amy Nuttall) becoming a prostitute — “My, my, that’s not a word you hear in this house everyday!” — and the two blessed angels decided to lend her a hand. She wanted the Bryants to have custody of Charlie, so the ladies set up a meeting with them, but it didn’t go according to plan.

“I judge her, and I find her wanting!” said Mr. Bryant, a line I’m definitely going to start using to describe things I don’t approve of. I didn’t think I cared about Ethel, but watching her say goodbye to Charlie was nothing short of gut-wrenching.

(Side note: Who knew Mrs. Bird was such a self-righteous bitch? She couldn’t have been ruder to poor Ethel. Prostitutes have feelings too, or so I’ve heard.)

Isabelle gives Mrs. Hughes a letter Ethel wrote. (Re, prostitute: “My, my, that’s not a word you hear in this house every day.”) Ethel wants the Bryants to have Charlie. Mrs Bird, you bitch! (“I judge her, and I find her wanting.”) They offer to throw $$$ at her. Watching her say goodbye was gut wrenching.


Anna (Joanne Froggatt) and Bates (Brendan Coyle) began to worry when neither of them received any letters — it was a Gretchen Weiners moment for them both — but Bates had a plan to set things right. Working the prison system like the boss that he is, Bates got his cellmate in trouble and went back to being in the guards’ good favor. So he got his letters, Anna got hers, and they both went back to being super boring. The end.


OK, they aren’t technically a couple, but a new footman named Jimmy (Ed Speleers) arrived at Downton this week, and Thomas (Rob James-Collier) is so hungry for him, it’s not even funny. Everyone is smitten by Jimmy’s beauty, but only Thomas literally stood outside his bedroom door and watched him get dressed. That’s dedication right there.


Daisy (Sophie McShera) sucks, so I’m very happy to report that this week’s episode introduced a major roadblock on her journey to happiness. Mrs. Patmore (Lesley Nicol) hired a new kitchen staffer named Ivy, who literally entered the room right as Ivy was about to tell Alfred (Matt Milne) that she’s warm for his form. Within seconds, Alfred and Ivy were flirting, and Daisy went back to pouting and being awful. So, basically, all is now right with the world.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Are you worried about Matthew and Mary’s future kids? Are you smitten by Jimmy? Are you jealous of Mrs. Hughes’ sweet new toaster? Drop me a comment with your personal review!

— Andy Swift

Follow @AndySwift

More Downton Abbey on

  1. 'Downton Abbey' Recap: Matthew & Mary's Wedding Day Finally Arrives
  2. 'Downton Abbey' Season 3: Five Most Epic Moments To Look Forward To
  3. 'Downton Abbey' Season 4 Scoop: How Mary Will 'Move On' From Matthew

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Hollywood Life: ‘Once Upon A Time’ Recap: An ‘Outsider’ Shakes Up Storybrooke

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thumbnail 'Once Upon A Time' Recap: An 'Outsider' Shakes Up Storybrooke
Jan 21st 2013, 03:06

Plus, Regina & Cora finally come face to face!

The Jan. 20 episode of Once Upon A Time probably should have been titled Whale’s Anatomy, because the entire hour was basically a weird journey through the complex psyche of Storybrooke’s Dr. Whale (David Anders). As it turns out, his origin isn’t as black-and-white as originally thought — even though it’s literally shown to us in black and white.

In a nutshell, Frankenstein had major family issues. He was always living in his soldier brother’s shadow, and his father didn’t understand his scientific endeavors. Rumpelstiltskin (Robert Carlyle) offered him tons of gold to teach him how to bring people back from the dead, but when Frankie’s brother caught him trying to dig up a body, he ended up getting shot in the process. Regina (Lana Parrilla) delivered Frankie a heart to give to his brother, but the revival was only mildly successful. (Think Daniel — but worse.)

Haunted by those memories, Dr. Whale was uneasy this week in present-day Storybrooke. And by “uneasy,” I mean wasted. He was about to jump into the sea, but Ruby (Meghan Ory) stopped him and had a nice heart-to-heart. When she told him Regina made her eat her boyfriend, his problems didn’t seem so bad.

And no, she didn’t mean that metaphorically. Remember when Ruby literally ate her boyfriend?

Regina & Cora: Reunited & It Feels So… Awkward

Regina and Cora (Barbara Hershey) also came face to face this week for the first time in years, but their reunion didn’t exactly go as I expected it to. Instead of clashing in a fiery blaze of magical mommy issues, they actually bonded. Cora came clean to Regina about framing her for Archie’s “murder,” then reminded her that turning her over to the townspeople wouldn’t make Henry love her any more. Tears were shed — on both sides of the TV screen.

Rumpelstiltskin & Belle: Strangers In The Night

Now that Belle (Emilie de Ravin) has no idea who she is anymore — thanks a lot, Hook! — Mr. Gold is more desperate than ever before. And after failing to remind Belle of what they once had together, Gold received a surprise visit from Cora. She told him he didn’t need Belle anymore, and that she could help him track down the one person in this world who still loved him: his son, Baelfire! (Who is probably Peter Pan, but I don’t have proof… yet.)

Side note: Was anyone else weirded out when Cora and Rumple kissed like they “used to?” Were these two boning back in the day?! I can’t. I just can’t.

Who Is ‘The Outsider?’

After Dr. Whale drunkenly operated on the mysterious outsider, Emma (Jennifer Morrison) interrogated him to make sure he didn’t see anything suspicious about the town. You know, like anything. He told her he was texting and driving — insert PSA here — and that all he saw was the road, but the minute Emma left the room, he made a sketchy phone call. He does know something!

Also, his ringtone was totally the Star Wars theme song. Now that Disney owns Lucasfilm, how long will it be before we start seeing Wookies in Storybrooke?

We’ve got a three-week hiatus on our hands, so let’s start theorizing: What do you make of the mysterious outsider? Were Cora and Rumple really lovers? And do you think Baelfire could also be Peter Pan? Drop me a comment with your thoughts!

— Andy Swift

Follow @AndySwift

More Once Upon A Time on

  1. 'Once Upon A Time' Recap: Another Murder In Storybrooke
  2. 'Once Upon A Time' Preview Video: Is Archie Really Dying?
  3. 'Once Upon A Time' Pics: Snow & Charming Celebrate Their Reunion

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TVLine: Downton Abbey Recap: Prodigal 'Son' Returns

TV News, Previews, Spoilers, Casting Scoop, Interviews
thumbnail Downton Abbey Recap: Prodigal 'Son' Returns
Jan 21st 2013, 03:02

This week on Downton Abbey, the Crawleys forget all about The Awful Tom Formalwear Incident of 1920 when their least favorite in-law shows up at the estate with the law on his tail and without his pregnant wife. And it only gets worse from there. Read on:

RELATED | Downton Abbey Exclusive: [Spoiler] Returning For Season 4!

HOUSE ARREST | Turns out, Tom was involved in the torching of the (according to Violet, quite hideous) home of some Irish nobles. He feels terrible about it now… but not nearly as terrible as he feels after Robert tears him a new one for leaving Sybil behind to fend for herself. After she finally joins her hubby at Casa Crawley, Robert gets the wanted man off the hook with the po-po — provided he never again sets foot in his native country!

WHO'S THE BOSS? | Though Matthew's bailout package made him Downton's co-owner, Robert seems to be under the impression that his preferred son-in-law will be more of a silent partner — emphasis on the "silent." Matthew, of course — of course! — has other ideas. And, while Robert is busy restaffing (more on that later), Mary's better half confesses to Violet that, according to his research, Downton's been mismanaged for… well, eons!

RELATED | Downton Abbey Boss Talks Life After [Spoiler]

HOT STUFF | Since Downton is flush again, Carson is at last allowed to add staff. He wants to promote hardworking Alfred (even though, as he notes, the lad is Mrs. O'Brien's nephew!), but Mary — level-headed as ever — instructs him to give the loftier position to new hire Jimmy… er, James… because he has the same effect on the maids (and Thomas) that One Direction has on tweenage girls. The kitchen gets a new empoyee, too: gorgeous Ivy, who makes her entrance just as Daisy's about to admit to Alfred that she fancies him!

GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE | After weeks of torturing Isobel with "I have something to tell you"/"No, no, I can't possibly tell you" back-and-forth, Ethel finally comes out with it: She's ready to give up son Charlie to his late father's parents (even the really mean one with the mustache!). And, in a damn heartbreaking scene, she does exactly that.

YOU'VE GOT MAIL | Much ado is made of the fact that, because Bates is on some prison hooligans' "naughty list," he isn't getting Anna's letters (nor is she receiving his). But, by episode's end, the convict has turned the tables, and mail delivery has been restored. (He even manages to get rid of his cellmate!) Back in polite society, Violet makes the mistake of telling Edith to "stop whining and find something to do." Which results in the spinster scandalizing her father by getting an editorial published in favor of women's suffrage!

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? Are you happy that Tom and Sybil are back at Downton? Were you as smitten with Jimmy… er, James… as everyone else? What did you make of Mary's (seeming) reluctance to hurry up and pop out an heir? Sound off below!

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TVLine: Girls Recap: Arrested Developments

TV News, Previews, Spoilers, Casting Scoop, Interviews
thumbnail Girls Recap: Arrested Developments
Jan 21st 2013, 02:31

Is it a good idea to call 911 when your ex-boyfriend “surprises” you by sneaking into your apartment? Do twentysomething friends just not get freaked out walking in on each other’s intimate moments? And should there be a license to own puppies?

These were some of the critical questions raised by the second episode of Season 2 of Girls. (And oh em gee, obvs the answers are “yes,” “apparently,” and “indeed”!)

Let's review the goings-on in "I Get Ideas" for each of the four Girls (and their one guy pal/roommate/ex-bf) in question.

RELATED | Cable Ratings: Showtime’s Sunday Trio Hit Highs; Plus, Numbers for Girls Season 3 Premiere, Enlightened and Banshee

MARNIE | I admit it,: I’m fascinated by Marnie’s “pretty girl” problems, and the struggle she’s having with being qualified for/interested in a kind of art-world job that might not even exist. Or, if it does exist, would require her to deal with a boss whose requests include things like “Can you grab Juice No. 5 from the fridge?” and who’d probably shout at her if her tea wasn’t made to vague-yet-exacting specifications. And thus, we found Marnie following Shoshanna’s advice to get a job that takes advantage of her looks — no, not as a model; she’s not that kind of pretty, everyone quickly/vehemently agreed — but rather as a hostess at the Wedgebrook Club (with its older-gent clientele). So what if she has to dress like “a slutty Von Trapp child” (Elijah’s description of her outfit)? She’ll make $400 a day and probably have ”fresh toenails all the time.” Hannah, of course, responded to the news with her typical brand of kneejerk judgment — “a hostess?” — and yet, really, how exactly is Hannah’s $40/day at Grumpy’s cleaner or more noble than Marnie’s gig? Hannah’s vow “not to cash in on my sexuality” would only be admirable if she was really striving to put her education and intelligence to good use in the world. She can’t handle honest critique about her essays, hasn’t read a newspaper in heaven knows how long, and still resents her parents for not footing her bills. At least Marnie can pay own her rent, right? That said, I hope we get to see Marnie try to navigate her new workspace — and the men who might be willing to provide a quick but not necessarily easy fix to her current aimlessness. And let’s hope, in those instances, her sensitivity and intellect will trump any feelings of insecurity and desperation, yes?

RELATED | TVLine Mixtape: Your Favorite Songs from NCIS, Girls, The Carrie Diaries, Bunheads and More

JESSA | I’m not sure I believe Jessa is truly uncomplicated, and thereby blissfully living in the moment of being married to a (wealthy) relative stranger who allows her to spend her days painting and caring for puppies. Is it possible she’s just treading water, using pretty pastels to paint herself into his world while she figures out who she really is and what she really wants to do with her life? (It ain’t nannying.) I mean, Thomas-John’s casual remark to Hannah — “I’m impressed by what you do with what you’ve got” — was pretty appalling, any way you slice it. Does Jessa love that guy? I wonder, also, if his “gift” of a trio of puppies in a basket — aka Garbage, F****r and Hanukkah — will come to represent the kind of responsibility and anchoring that Jessa’s entire life seems to be a rebellion against. In other words, she and Thomas-John and their matching tiger tattoos can’t go on blissfully for the whole season, can they?

SHOSHANNA | Huzzah for crazy-happy Shosh and crazy-smitten Ray in bed, discussing the time she earned badges in both archery and waterskiing at camp. But isn’t it time the fourth-wheel in the Girls universe got a more fleshed-out story arc? Let’s see the optimistic, self-actualization junkie at school or work or perhaps as a volunteer among her fellow/rival go-getters? I’m so delighted by Zosia Mamet’s every moment on screen that it makes me yearn for more Shosh-centric episodes.

HANNAH | Yes, Hannah is a tremendous mess, but I fully cosign her initial instinct to dial 911 when Adam used his key to let himself into her apartment, scare her to death wearing a sequined mask, and demand milk from her fridge. Especially after sending her a mix-videotape of songs with lyrics like, “Standing outside/ Not making a sound/ Creeping around/ You destroyed my heart/ Thanks.” I mean, yes, Adam is a comic nightmare, but he is a nightmare nonetheless. (“It’s scary with all the tools behind him,” noted Elijah, in the best line of the night.) Even scarier to have the guy in your bedroom saying things like, “As a man living my man life, my desire for you cannot be suppressed,” then threatening to come back the next day. By the time Hannah shoved Adam into the door, shouting “Go away” again and again and again, she’d finally dispensed with the veil of irony, the toxic yearning to be truly wanted by someone/anyone, and the naughty inkling that their cat-and-mouse game might not be the best way to fill the holes/ennui in her life.

And yet as much as Hannah taking a stance showed some true character development, her response to the police showing up after her 911 hangup — “I can’t believe you guys come everytime somebody calls! I mean, that seems really alarmist. And crazy.” — made me want to throw my shoe at the screen (though, really, I was too busy howling with laughter). You can tell there’s part of Hannah who wants to hang on to Adam — the same part of her that when she has sex wants to pretend she doesn’t exist, which is a rarity — and yet her more evolved self has issues, too. She can’t cope with Sandy, the Republican black dude who makes her feel sexy and admires her freshly brushed teeth. The problem isn’t him being a Republican, though, it’s that Hannah is too lazy/self-absorbed to really research and defend her own positions. In other words, it’s easier for her to hold a bedpan for a murdery-sexy stalker than it is for her to deal with a guy who doesn’t just tell her her essays are brilliant. Which is frustrating, because she has some great points, like when she snapped, “Even though you spend all this time with me and my gay roommate, you don’t have any feeling that he should be allowed to have, like, a beautiful wedding like all the ones we saw eaelier on Say Yes to the Dress.” But then she devolves into quoting Missy Elliot’s “Work It,” then pretending she doesn’t know who Missy Elliot is, because she’d rather retreat from Sandy altogether than explore whether she’s informed enough to coexist with their differences. Which, again, doesn’t mean I didn’t crack up throughout the entire confrontation, or her query about whether Sandy might still want to have sex.

ELIJAH | Yes, it looks like Elijah and George are through. The former only gave it “two-and-a-half pumps, then I lost my boner” with Marnie, but the latter doesn’t want to date someone who’s bisexual, which apparently is just the cop-out used by “certain 25-year-old boys say when their mothers are from Boulder Springs.”

Anyhow, with that I turn things over to you. What did you think of this week’s Girls? Which story arcs and characters are you enjoying most? And am I the only one who would’ve gotten a wee bit skittish walking in on Shosh and Ray in bed, or even shirtless Thomas-John getting painted by Jessa? Sound off below!

Follow @MichaelSlezakTV

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Hollywood Life: Taylor Swift Dating Guys Just To Write Songs?

Hollywood Life
Latest Hollywood Gossip, News & Celeb Pics
thumbnail Taylor Swift Dating Guys Just To Write Songs?
Jan 20th 2013, 23:43

Taylor Swift is getting blasted left and right! This time, BRAVO dating guru Patti Stanger is taking a bite out of T-Swizzle, accusing her of dating men just to write songs and sell hit records!

First, Taylor Swift was dissed by Tina Fey and Michael J. Fox for her rushed dating habits. Now, the “I Knew You Were Trouble” singer getting some words of advice from Millionaire Matchmaker’s Patti Stanger — stay single!

“Taylor Swift dates guys so she can write a breakup song about them. I don’t think she’s dating for love — I think she’s dating for creativity. So let’s get her off the market and put her in dating detox,” Patti advised to Us Weekly. “If she really wants love, she has to stop writing music about them.”

Ironically, the staff came up with our own list of men Taylor should date next, but now that I’m hearing Patti’s opinion, I’m loving her insight.

Michael J. Fox & Tina Fey Diss Taylor Swift Too

At the Jan. 13 Golden Globes award ceremony, host Tina Fey hilariously poked fun at Taylor, and told her to “stay away from Michael J. Fox‘s son,” while Michael sat and laughed nervously in the audience.

Michael’s diss to Taylor came when he was at a book party for Ann Leary‘s The Good House on Jan. 16. While there, he admitted his horror at the prospect of Taylor dating his son Sam.

When asked if he would approve of a romance between his son and the country cutie, the Back To The Future actor said, “No. No … Just back off,” to Vulture. “I don't keep up with it all. But Taylor Swift writes songs about everybody she goes out with, right? What a way to build a career.”

Onwards & Upwards For Taylor Swift

No matter what any of these people think, Taylor is already back in the studio recording new songs. There’s a good chance one of those songs will be about Harry Styles.

What do YOU think, HollywoodLifers? Should Taylor stay single for a while?

Subscribe to me on YouTube

US Weekly

— Chris Rogers


More Taylor Swift News:

  1. Taylor Swift: How I Wrote A Song That Wasn't About An Ex Boyfriend
  2. Taylor Swift Had A Nightmare Night At Golden Globes
  3. Taylor Swift Tweets New Pic In Studio — Writing About Harry Styles?
Take Our Poll

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Hollywood Life: Justin Bieber Competing With Selena Gomez’s Butt Pic?

Hollywood Life
Latest Hollywood Gossip, News & Celeb Pics
thumbnail Justin Bieber Competing With Selena Gomez's Butt Pic?
Jan 20th 2013, 22:33

It can’t be a coincidence that Justin mooned his fans in an Instagram pic on Jan. 19, the same weekend that Selena’s ‘Spring Breakers’ ‘butt-grabbing’ pic was released. Jealous much?

After his recent break up with Selena GomezJustin Bieber is exposing a fair share of his body. Is he competing with Selena, who’s poster for Spring Breakers showing her butt — was released this weekend?

The 18-year-old singer, who is currently traveling around the country on his Believe tour, showed off his bare butt in an Instagram picture Saturday, Jan. 19, one day after nearly getting naked on stage in Nashville, Tennessee. However, he quickly deleted the photo and left a mysterious “haha” on his Twitter account.

Either this boy is lashing out after his VERY public split with Selena, or he’s just damn proud of his body. Sorry, Justin, but we’ll have to go with the former for now.

Justin’s manager, Scooter Braun, joked about the picture on Twitter. He said, “As a prankster you have to respect another good prank. Only makes sense. #crackdealer.”

Justin performed at the Greensboro Coliseum Complex in Greensboro, North Carolina, on Jan. 19, around the same time he posted this pic.

Selena Gomez Sings Revenge Songs To Justin Bieber At UNICEF Concert

Meanwhile, Selena, 20, performed Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me A River” at her UNICEF concert in New York City on Jan. 19. She’s really upset with Justin!

It appears as though Justin and Selena have a lot to talk about together, but they continue to air their grievances publicly. It’s getting tiring!

What do YOU think, HollywoodLifers? Is Justin competing with Selena?

WATCH: Selena Gomez & Barbara Palvin Party Together – Trashing Justin Bieber?

— Chris Rogers


More Justin Bieber News:

  1. Barbara Palvin's New Victoria's Secret Shoot — Tempting Justin Bieber?
  2. Justin Bieber Strips Down During Sexy Performance In NYC
  3. Justin Bieber Tries To Make Selena Gomez Jealous With New Shirtless Pic
Take Our Poll

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