Sean brings his lovely ladies to Montana, where they are forced to chop wood and chug goat milk for Sean’s love — and no, that is not a dirty metaphor.
The group date challenges on The Bachelor get more ridiculous every week, as Sean Lowe's ladies jet off on a “worldwide trip” to Montana (Chris Harrison obviously never paid attention during geography) where they partook in a series of ridiculous challenges on Feb. 4. But it was also the best episode ever, as my girl Wedding Dress Lindsay got invited on a one on one date with Sean! They went on a sexy helicopter date — man, there are a lot of helicopter rides on this show — and Lindsay made out with Sean. You go, girl!
Sean Lowe & Lindsay’s 
Private Date
Sean then took Lindsay to a romantic log cabin for some wine, a wood fire, — all the was missing was some cheesy music. After some make out time, and Lindsay told him all about her childhood as an army brat. Lindsay is so deep, and for once I am not being sarcastic. And my homegirl gets a rose! If Sean doesn’t pick her as his bride, I will cry.
They then go to a street concert for some slow music and they dance in the middle of all the town folk, until Sean picks up Lindsay ala Dirty Dancing! ABC should just call off the rest of the series — we have a winner.
A Competitive Relay Race
Selma, Lesley, Daniella, Sarah, AshLee, Catherine, Desiree and Robyn arrive for a relay race, where they must carry hay, saw wood, milk a goat, canoe and then chug the goat’s milk. The girls are split into two teams and don checkered shirts to degrade themselves in the name of love.
The final challenge was when the girls had to milk goats and drink the milk, and I’m sure plenty of fetishists around the country had a great time while watching them. The red team — Sarah, Selma, Desiree and Robyn — win and therefore secure more time with the Texan beefcake, while the losers head home in a funk.
Until Sean suddenly feels guilty and invites the losers to join, and the red team are pissed! Fair enough — they did chug goat milk. The blue girls arrive, and guess who silently tags along? Evil Tierra! That girl really has no shame, especially since she stole one of the lovely blue checkered shirts.
Tierra drags Sean outside, and since Sean is as dumb as a box of rocks he goes with her. Tierra, who was going to be joining Sean for a two-on-one date with Jackie the following day, manipulates Sean with a quick make out session and makes him promise to follow his heart. I have a feeling that Jackie will be packing her bags…
Sean makes out with AshLee and Catherine, but no amount of his man whoring has left him with mono — yet. Daniella starts to cry, probably because she had gotten no air time, so Sean makes out with her too and she nabs the only rose! And the red team girls are highly unimpressed that a losing member bagged the rose.
All is fair in love and war girls!
Tierra & Jackie’s Two-On-One Date With Sean
Evil Tierra cackles like the witch she is when she arrives for the horse riding date, as she thinks it is hysterical that Jackie is unaware that she had met Sean. What a hag!
Sean, Tierra and Jackie go on what has to be the most awkward date there has ever been on The Bachelor. Once the wine starts flowing however, Jackie opens up her big mouth and starts dissing Tierra, which is a terrible move! Or a Tierrable move. Girl, don’t you know that nothing comes of talking trash? Look what happened to Kacie B! They have some make out time however, and then Sean takes the girls to a romantic dinner that looks remarkably like the place he took Lindsay.
Sean and Tierra have some alone time, where Tierra talks about her former boyfriend who died. Who knows if what she is saying is true, but Sean seems sympathetic. Tierra gets the rose and she and Sean watch a fireworks display, while Jackie goes home. I’m pretty convinced that Tierra was a cockroach in a former life, because that girl could survive a nuclear explosion.
Elimination & The Rose Ceremony
Tensions run high at the elimination cocktail party, as the girls are enraged that Jackie was sent home over Tierra. Tierra sits on her own at the fire while contemplating punching the other girls, and they stare at her and bitch about her. When Robyn decides to confront her, frankly, I’m afraid.
Tierra has a bee in her bonnet when the girls approach her, and she seriously talks them down, in her typical screechy way. The tables turn however, when Sean confronts her about her attitude with the other girls. Tierra has the gall to call herself a “nice girl”, and once again Sean is way too sympathetic.
Feeling like he is being conned (which he is), Sean asks Lesley for her advice, and she tells him straight: Tierra is crazy. But Sean decides to “follow his heart.” Excuse me while I vomit. Sean decides to get some brotherly advice from his mentor Chris, but he doesn’t seem to have any clarity by the end of the conversation.
Sean eventually eliminates Robyn at the rose ceremony. Good bye and good luck Robyn.
Sidenote: This is a momentous occasion, as for once, Sean makes it through an entire episode without taking his shirt off! One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
Don’t forget to come back to HollywoodLife.com on Feb. 5 for another recap of The Bachelor!
What do YOU think HollywoodLifers? Did Sean make the right decision at the rose ceremony?
WATCH: ‘The Bachelor’ Goes To Montana
ABC ➚
– Eleanore Hutch
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