In the spirit of National Beyoncé Week — brought to you by the National Football League, the United States Congress, the Internet and the House of Dereon — I begin this American Idol recap with the bastardization of a famous lyric from the Artist Occasionally Known as Sasha Fierce:
“To the left, to the left. All the lady Idols in the holding pen to the left.”
Yes, folks, I’m still trying to sort out my feelings about one of the biggest changes to the show’s structure since the days I first began recapping Fox’s reality behemoth — and identified with #TeamBo over #TeamCarrie. (Oh hindsight, you’re the cruelest mistress of all. Still, I bet even you have “Witness” on your iPod.)
But back to the curveball thrown by maniacal genius/kindly British uncle Nigel Lythgoe: Separating the annual/grueling Hollywood Week festivities by gender. Male contestants this week; future Haley Reinharts and Aloha Mi’Shos not taking the screen till next Wednesday. Yes, thanks to Fox’s crackerjack publicity department, we knew the change was gonna come — if you took that as an Adam Lambert shout-out, then ding-ding-ding-ding-ding — but tonight’s fast, furious two-hour telecast was kinda hard to process.
So many dudes. So many of them shown in less-than-bite-sized snippets. And not a single Carly Smithson or Crystal Bowersox or Theri to break the testosterone chokehold. Who was good? Who was terrible? Who only appealed to the gay British dude who lives in Nicki Minaj’s medulla oblongata? I’m not entirely sure I enjoyed it, and I’m not sure I saw the 2013 answer to Phillip Phillps, but either way, it’s gonna take me a couple hours to organize my thoughts and notes.
I’ll be back overnight to update this post with a full episode recap — bookmark, refresh, and enjoy! — but until then, let me turn things over to you. What did you think of the first night of American Idol Season 12 Hollywood Week? Were there any decisions that made you mad? Any contestants who got you jonesing for the live rounds? Sound off in the comments, and for all my Idol-related news, recaps, interviews and videos, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!
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