It's time for the Super Bowl (airing on CBS), where every year advertisers pony up big bucks to wave their wares in front of 100 million viewers.
Who drafted big stars to shill? Who went for laughs? Who tugged at heartstrings? And who went out of their way to remind us with a sledgehammer, “Sex sells”?
RELATED | Super Bowl 2013: Reviewing the Commercials From the 1st Half
Read our quick take on the commercials from the 2nd half of Super Bowl XLVII — refresh for updates! — beneath this handy gizmo for playing back your faves (or ones you missed whilst hitting the loo), then share your own reviews in Comments.
2 Broke Girls | As much an overproduced spectacle as anything from a car or soda pop peddler, this elaborate David LaChapelle-directed promo serves up Max/Kat Dennings and Caroline/Beth Behrs as tarty pole dancers and batter-stirrers. If the intent was to sell sex, it gets a FIELD GOAL. But if selling a situation comedy, FUMBLE.
Iron Man 3 | Just a teaser, but one that captures the franchise’s mix of suspense, superheroics and humor, as Tony Stark struggles with the math in saving 14 airline passengers four at a time. FIELD GOAL
Blackberry Z10 | Since I am (probably/possibly) waiting to get my hands on the Z10 (or its cousin the Q10) this spring, I’ve been waiting to see what this first ad would tout. The company fka RIM however took the easy way out, demonstrating the things “it doesn’t do.” FUMBLE
E*Trade | Yes, an annual crowd-pleaser — “How’d they do that! He’s just a baby!” Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Joel McHale (explaining my SAFETY):
E-Trade has been using this talking baby for the last 6 Super Bowls. Shouldn't he be ACTUALLY talking by now & not just fake mouth talking?—
Joel McHale (@joelmchale) February 04, 2013
Bud Light | Wow, they’re actually going for a theme here, with Stevie Wonder back as the mystical “mojo” man, who this time defers to his pretty assistant to turn a guy’s chair “lucky.” FIELD GOAL
Axe Apollo | Lifeguard punches out shark to save a pretty girl… who then up and leaves him for the arms of an astronaut (aka metaphor for the Apollo in the product name). Assuming this somehow appeals to those who drench themselves in the clubgoer’s parfum: SAFETY.
MiO FIT | We barely get a chance to miss 30 Rocker Tracy Morgan, here ruminating on how things change (or need to change back, in the case of boy/man bands). I appreciate the idea of MiO, so I’ll roll the dice with a SAFETY.
KIA | Pretty humanoid robots look on as a guy inspects a KIA — that is, until he kicks the(ir) tires. At that point, he gets pounded, wedgied and hurled across the showroom. “Respect the tech” is the message. FIELD GOAL
Gildan | Never heard of this T-shirt brand, not sure what it was going for. FUMBLE
Wonderful Pistachios | “Crack your nuts now,” the lyrics go, as PSY reinvents “Gangnam Style” to shell shill pistachios. Suitably noisy, snicker-worthy lyrics aside. FIELD GOAL
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